This House Is For Sale And Is FULL OF NIGHTMARES

I’m sure most of you are in the market for a new house these days. I’m sure you’re just casually searching the internet for somewhere with another bedroom, maybe a bigger yard or a two-door garage, right?

JUST KIDDING, HAHAHA, IMAGINE ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO AFFORD PURCHASING A HOUSE. HAHAHAHAHA.

Oh man, that’s a funnier thought than anything I could write.

But even if you, like most of us, are not looking to throw a few hundred thousand (or million, let’s be real) dollars at a new abode, I have a listing that you’re definitely going to want to check out.

10 Melory Crescent looks like a beautiful South Australian home. It’s over 2,500 square-feet, features five bedrooms, two bathrooms, and can comfortable fit three vehicles on the lot. That’s a pretty sweet deal for a house that’s currently going for around $550,000. I’m from Vancouver and there is no way in hell a spot like that would go for less than a million. Seems like kind of a dream, right??

You’d think so. But alas.

The photos in this listing start out normal enough, and they stay pretty seemingly ordinary just long enough for you to get lulled into a false sense of security.

Looks nice enough

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A little overgrown but still fine

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Oh look wow! It’s even got a pool!

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Still relatively normal

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Kinda cozy actually

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I don’t see what’s so weird— wait. What is that statue

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And that… random Alice Cooper poster

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And the, uh,

HORRIFYING DEMON BASEMENT

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WHAT IS GOING ONNNNNNNN

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THIS HOUSE IS POSSESSED. THERE IS NO WAY THIS HOUSE IS NOT POSSESSED. THINGS HAVE GONE DOWN.

WHY ALL THE DUMMIES??? WHY ARE THEY WEARING WIGS? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT LITERAL MANNEQUIN OF SATAN??!

WHY IS THIS HOUSE EVEN ON THE MARKET

WHO DIED HERE?? BECAUSE SOMEONE DEFINITELY DIED HERE

Yeah this house comes with a pool and a sweet garage

You can look through all the photos here, and even pop by for the open house IF YOU DARE.